USA vs UK

Good at queuing. Photo: Neil Rickards usage licensed under CCA2.0

This blog is dedicated to observing, through American commentators, how the USA views Britain. However just for a change I thought it might be interesting to get a reverse view. So I dug out a list compiled by Steve B, a Brit living and working in the USA in 2005, of how in his opinion we differ.

US Stand in line, and then rush to the front  UK Respect the queue

US The Young & The Restless UK East Enders, Coronation Street

US Movies = Fantasy & Violence UK Films = Tragedy and Sex

US “I’m suing my therapist” UK “Excuse me, pardon me, I’m sorry”

US Unrealistically optimistic UK Occasionally pleasantly surprised pessimists

US Newer, cleaner UK Older, dirtier

US Modern & convenient  US Built for horse and cart!

US Less ‘holes’ in system UK More things “fall off the back of lorries!”

US Higher standard of living for average Joe UK Expensive, exclusive

US Everything is bigger UK Everything is smaller

US City spread out, tall downtown, suburbia UK Hundreds of connected High Streets

US More dangerous overall UK Safer with dangerous pockets

US Too politically correct i.e. drinking is taboo UK Drinking is ‘socializing!’ way of life

US Need degree – education is imperative  UK Survival of the fittest

US No long-term history UK Too much history

US Melting pot UK “Multicultural”

US Big business UK More smaller businesses

US People try to be bad, hard & cool UK Arrogant sophisticated, trying to outclass

US Four extreme seasons with sunshine UK Mild summer, rain, overcast, dreary, damp

US American influence UK European influence

US No class system UK Class system – snobbery, old over new

US More to do, extracurricular activities UK Less to do (afford!)

US People are louder, fatter more colorful, UK OTT People are gray, reserved, stiff upper lip

US Better Childhood UK Better Adulthood

US Tradesmen get respect UK Businessmen get respect

US Pay for health services UK Free National Health Service

US More necessity to gain education UK More opportunity to make it without education

US Bar and backyard culture UK Pub and park culture

US Rock and roll, country, hip hop UK Pop, R&B, new wave

US Florida, Bahamas, Mexico UK Pontins, Butlins, Spain, Greece

US Spoiled – “The water line is higher” UK Hardship – “The water has greater depth”

US Customer service driven UK Lousy customer service

US Naive, don’t realize life outside N. America UK More worldly

US Live to work UK Work to live

US Ignorant rednecks UK Superiority complex, arrogant snobs

(Note: Original list edited for content)

“Please don’t hate me because I’m American.”

Tourist Stall, Trafalgar_Square, London
Photo by DAVID ILIFF. License: CC-BY-SA 3.0

I’ve been reviewing some of the many, many comments Americans made about the British back in my original 2005 survey – I’ll get around to doing another one soon – and had forgotten just how quirky, outrageous, thoughtful and funny some of them were, and on such range of topics – from food to the War on Terror, from the Royals to vulgarity and much more in between. So I’ve compiled a selection of sentences and one-liners from Americans – all completely genuine – that caught my attention.

Here’s America on Britain, enjoy:

– “Americans don’t distract themselves with tabloids of Royal scandals and crop circles.”

– “I have been fascinated by kings, queens, and castles, and have grown up to believe that monarchy is the best form of government and that the British constitution is superior to the American.”

– “I like Great Britain as long as it supports the United States.”

– “I much admire the British, with one admonishment; I wish they didn’t admire us so much. Britain would be a lot better off not following our lead on anything for a while.”

– “Glad the Brits were ran out of here, but y’all come visit now.”

– “I wish England and Ireland were nearby states in the US.”

– “Perhaps America should look to Britain for guidance on an appreciation of the historic, and more respect for the beliefs of others.  Our legendary ‘tolerance’ has become rather one-sided in the last 8 years or so.”

– “Why is the food offered in Britain so bad?  Does anyone else feel this way?  I have travelled to many places in my lifetime but never have walked away with such a curiosity of wondering, “who was in charge of the menu?”

– “Britain: bad food, lousy weather, spot-o-tea, Mary F***ing Poppins, you know: Britain.”

– “Being a gun owner and a 2nd amendment freak I decry the confiscation of guns in Britain. And even hesitate to visit. I hear small vicious crime is rampant in London.  I have never been there.”

– “America is still young and maybe someday will become more civilized.”

– “Americans don’t understand the British class structure and nobility i.e. the dukes, earls, sir, etc. They don’t understand the currency either. Lastly they don’t realize that British people have different accents.”

– “Please don’t hate me because I’m American.”

– “My family roots are Irish, I married a man with British roots, and together we have done our bit to solve ‘the troubles.’  Ha!”

– “We believe that English people ultimately dislike Americans but who in this World doesn’t? Everyone hates America until they need something from us.”

– “Brits are tough and they have a history of bullying other countries.  We have those traits in common because England is our parent country.”

– “I don’t see why they still have a Queen. What does she do?”

– “I wish I could find an English girl over here.”

– “The news was fascinating in England. They were so focused on everything going on in the world, whereas Americans are so focused on themselves and their own problems.”

– “I had imagined that England would be a great place to live and work. Now I know better.”

– “I sometimes view the British as weird, and most certainly quirky.  Sometimes goofy.”

– “I also was disappointed in British customer service.  It’s like you have no idea of such a concept.”

– “We need to stand together against the frigging French.”

– “I regret to report that the United States has ceased to be a democracy.”

– “Never have I seen Britain’s countryside and cityscapes lit by the sun’s rays. It is as if Britain is in a perpetual state of fog, rain, and overcast. On the same token, the lack of sunshine may be the reason for the death-like pallor Britons are commonly known for.”

–  “Three of my great-great-great uncles were hung by the British at Tralee in 1848 for killing a British officer.  I grew up wanting to join the IRA.”

–  “America is at WAR with terrorism!  I believe the greatest military and economy in world history is quite capable of taking care of business, but we expect our friends to be there alongside us when needed.”

– “I also think that British people are sometimes very vulgar, I’ve seen some of the shows from there and feel that they need cleaned up.”

– “The high-class women of the British are so stuck up they need a tractor to pull the needle out of their backsides.”

– “Listen; there is nothing about British English that makes it superior to American English. Nothing.”

– “The Queen is much admired here, and many secretly wish she was ours.”

– “As a Yank I believe I have an obligation to uphold truth and justice everywhere, no matter how corny that sounds.”

And finally – given the Queen’s the Diamond Jubilee is just next month here’s one ‘loyal’ American:

– “God Save the Queen!”

Just what, exactly, is Britain?

Royal Coat of Arms on the gates to Buckingham Palace

And why do so few of you know enough about it?

I have been struggling recently to persuade some American friends that England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are in fact separate countries, with their own separate national identities and very often very strongly held loyalties that are trending, politically, towards independence. In other words, watch this space – the country known as The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland may not exist in the same form in the near future.

Some Americans find this quite surprising. So for them here is a quick summary, with a little help from Wikipedia:

The United Kingdom is a unitary state governed under a constitutional monarchy and a parliamentary system, with its seat of government in the capital city of London. It is a country in its own right and consists of four countries: England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales.

London is the capital city of both the United Kingdom and England. Northern Ireland’s capital is Belfast, Scotland’s Edinburgh and Wales’s is Cardiff.

England is the only country in the Union without its own separate administration. Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales all have their own devolved administrations – although they all vary in the level of powers available to them – an odd quirk of this is that on some regional national issues (for example education policy in Scotland) Members of Parliament with English constituencies may not vote, yet Members of Parliament with non-English constituencies can and do vote on policy matters relating solely to England. Everyone, except the politicians, seems to find this surprising.

External view – the ‘quirky’ Scottish Parliament building. Source: Wikicommons

There are a few more quirky bits in the makeup of the UK; we have 3 ‘Crown Dependencies’: the Isle of Man, and the Bailiwicks of Jersey and Guernsey. These are not part of the UK as such, nor are they part of the European Union, but they are possessions of the Crown, (which basically means we took them by force of arms back in the days when that sort of thing was more acceptable) and have the power to pass legislation through their own respective legislative assemblies, with the assent of the Crown.

There are also fourteen overseas territories:  Anguilla; Bermuda; the British Antarctic Territory; the British Indian Ocean Territory which includes Diego Garcia; the British Virgin Islands; the Cayman Islands; the Falkland Islands; Gibraltar; Montserrat; Saint Helena, Ascension and Tristan da Cunha; the Turks and Caicos Islands; the Pitcairn Islands; South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands and the Sovereign Base Areas on Cyprus.

According to Wikipedia these “are remnants of the British Empire which, at its height in 1922, encompassed almost a quarter of the world’s land surface and was the largest empire in history. British influence can still be observed in the language, culture and legal systems of many of its former territories.”

So there!

What a “Carry On”!

Toilet Humour? Bad taste jokes have been a staple of British life for centuries.

“Unlike their American counterparts, Brits don’t find humour in ‘bathroom’ comedy or comedy which elevates because of stupidity. I rarely watch TV in the States because of this mentality.”

K from Florida may be in for a shock when she gets to spend some time over here and absorb some of our ‘high’ culture.

What she calls bathroom humour is what we call toilet humour (the conversion of US spelling into UK spelling is all K) and is central to everyday British life. Jokes in what is very poor taste are commonplace – from the work floor to the boardroom and beyond – and are appreciated, if that’s the right word, for their shock value. They are without doubt crude, sexist and often racist – regrettably that does not seem to lessen their popularity.

Comedian Benny Hill - seemingly ever popular in the USA

From Shakespearean innuendo to the tits, bums and pratfalls of Benny Hill through Frankie Howerd’s riotous and saucy romp in “Up Pompeii” to the err… wealth of Carry On films the tradition of toilet humour or in US English off-color humour in Britain is, well, rampant and if we judge by the admittedly watered-down content of Murdoch’s Sun tabloid, Britain’s most popular newspaper (we know this because they told us) is unlikely to be flushed away any time soon (sorry).

Here’s K:

I married a Brit and will be moving to the UK shortly. What I like about the Brits is the compassion, which the people feel toward others. Whether it’s the Tsunami victims or the victims of ethnic cleansing in Africa and other parts of the world. I feel Brits are more sensitive to the issues of humanity than Americans.

I also enjoy the British sense of humour. Unlike their American counterparts, Brits don’t find humour in ‘bathroom’ comedy or comedy which elevates because of stupidity. I rarely watch TV in the States because of this mentality.

Can we talk about attention spans? Americans have a very short attention span for world happenings, whereas Brits seem to remember occurrences longer. I associate this with American’s self-absorption. Sad, but true.

All in all though, Brits are the closest community that we can call “cousins”. With many of our population having British ancestry (myself included), we also have similar values; with the exception of all of those self absorbed Americans, of course! I look forward to living in a society that welcomes me and although American foreign policy is not favoured, sees me for the person I am. God Save the Queen!

Although upon reading this again it occurs to me that perhaps K was just indulging in a little humorous irony?

Ladies and Gentlemen… Mr Allan Stagg

Allan Stagg
Image source: Chicagoradioandmedia.com

I have a policy of not identifying, beyond first names, those who have been kind enough to contribute their thoughts and opinions to this project, the reasons for that are I think obvious enough. (In fact almost all those who did contribute agreed to have their contributions and identities made public; indeed I was staggered by how many of them quite happily handed over full addresses and phone numbers in such an open way- clearly 2005 was a very different time.)

However this time I’m going to break that rule and identify Mr Allan Stagg, a Radio DJ from Illinois for two reasons; 1) Because he’s already a public figure and 2) because he sadly died in 2007 aged just 55.

Allan Stagg was the creator of a popular radio show called Sanctuary on Chicago’s WXCD-FM and was clearly a funny, intelligent if eccentric person with a great creative talent – and an amazing voice, listen to it here; it’s like melting chocolate over gravel.

Allan took the time to write about the Brits, and he was able with irreverent humour and deep insight to deliver some hefty knocks to the British and a sharp political dig at the then US administration. Here’s Allan:

Born in 1951 in the Midwestern town of Grand Rapids, Michigan, I really had little opportunity initially to encounter people from the U.K. I believe my first awareness of any specific Brits probably came from seeing photos of Winston Churchill, newsreels of the Queen, or a fifties, black & white weekly television program about Robin Hood and his band of merry men. That’s probably where I first learned you spoke with a heavy accent, in fact. Well, relatively speaking. I also found robbing from the rich, to give to the poor, an admirable quality. There were my grade school history books that discussed how we Americans defeated you in the Revolutionary War but, I paid little attention to my early education, nor cared.

I would credit The Beatles, and the Brit invasion bands that followed, who made me truly aware of Great Britain. Certainly, girls from England in mod miniskirts also caught my adolescent eyes, along with female singers such as Dusty Springfield, Petula Clark, Cilla Black, Marianne Faithful, Lulu, and Christine Keeler.

Other great insights to the English were gained when I discovered your theater watching Benny Hill, your advanced sciences (as well as set design) as exhibited in the BBC series, Dr. Who, and Monty Python’s Flying Circus filled in the rest. Up to that point, I think I knew your Bobbies didn’t carry pistols, however, I was unaware they carried wands, wore ballet tutus and took very broad steps when they crossed a street.

Your sporting events must be so much more meaningful to watch soccer events pitting different philosophical schools of thought against each other. We certainly have a lot of idiots over here in the States, especially the ‘red’ ones; however, I don’t think they have local gatherings, other than, perhaps, truck pulls, wrestling matches and church socials.

The band members of Slade, of course, gave me an appreciation of British fashion and set my personal apparel standards through much of the seventies. That is, until I sprained my ankle once wearing platform shoes.

I am embarrassed to say that I was in my mid-thirties before I met a real English-type, as a colleague in Chicago, and gained a much better understanding of the Brits. Uncle Bobby, as he was nicknamed, was from Birmingham, which, of course, I had heard of thanks to the musical, Hair. He lived in the Windy City for a number of years before he realized that Mayor Daley’s city tax rate, along with those of Cook County, the state of Illinois and the I.R.S., were greater than the taxes he had to pay in England. He, then, promptly moved back.

His perspectives were quite refreshing, as well as educational. I never knew we didn’t defeat Great Britain in the 18th century but you simply got tired of sailing back and forth. That’s certainly understandable. Nor, that you ran the Puritans out of England because they were such prudes and why we here in the States are stuck with their values today. It makes a lot of sense. Frankly, I don’t know why you simply didn’t burn them all at the stake instead of paying for their travel across the Atlantic. It certainly would have saved the Crown a penny or two, in my humble estimation.

I really appreciated Uncle Bobby’s open acceptance of every race and culture here, unlike some of the native Caucasians. Of course, I gained some further insights into those the English validly suffer in the British Isles and the rest of Europe. I never knew the Brits only occupied “one bloody county” in Ireland and what filthy conditions the U-K troops had to endure. Uncle Bobby taught me that the Irish were as dirty as the French but their saving grace was Guinness Stout. Like the Germans, at least their brewing skills make them somewhat tolerable. I must tell you that I’m still shocked that the Scottish are cross-dressers and the Welsh have a disgusting passion for sheep!

Your tolerance of alcohol is far greater than ours. Uncle Bobby could drink Guinness like water without exhibiting the slightest bit of intoxication. He never even got to the point where he had to adjust the tie he always sported. You people can sure hold your booze! I learned new words, too, like ‘bullocks,’ that can be used as a generic response to nearly anything. Sadly, we did almost come to fists once when I wondered why you people still go through the trouble of having a Queen, other than say, the late, Freddie Mercury. I quickly apologized and the issue was never brought up again though, in all honestly, I still don’t understand.

In conclusion, I would say the greatest contributions Great Britain has made to the States are how laws are dealt and the functions of government being made apparent to all. For example, how else would we have learned about the corruption in the Bush administration without the Downing Street memo being revealed? For that alone, I thank you.

Cheers Allan.

The Brits? We’re going down the tube.

Down the Tube. Source: Wikicommons

Dwight from California had a good time visiting Britain in 2005, but was not impressed by all he found. His views are expressed through the filter of his circumstances and political opinions, as are most; some however may choose to disagree with his assessment of the BBC and our lack of “empirical spirit”. Here’s Dwight:

So what do I as an American (and native Californian) think of the Brits?   Well, they are a bit mad – but nice, actually.  For the most part they were extremely hospitable, and seemed genuinely glad we were visiting their country.

My wife and I are die-hard “red” state Conservatives, forever doomed to live in an American “blue” state, apparently, and could have argued “politics” with several acquaintances with whom we ended up spending time.  But they were too well mannered and we were having too much of a good time to waste efforts on something that wouldn’t change each other’s minds, so we didn’t.

I loved the tube, loved the buses, loved the trains, and loved the taxis.  But was totally surprised at the frequency and casualness with which cabbies (and others) made sudden “U” turns in the middle of the blocks.  They would end up ‘dead meat’ if they were to do that in theU.S.

I was extremely surprised at how “behind the times”Londonand theUKin general are as far as accommodating physically challenged individuals.  Very few tube stops had platform level elevators, and many of the buses didn’t seem to have any way of loading wheelchair-bound persons, although the newer ones saved spaces for them once they might have made it aboard.

What totally amazes me, though, is how unaware most Limeys seem to be of the changes that have taken place in their own values and culture over the past half century. Nowhere is this more noticeable than in the BBC, which was once the epitome of ethical journalism, and is now reduced to being nothing more than a biased house organ for educated cowards. Where has the vaunted British empire-building world-view gone? Just because theUnited Kingdomshrunk by several colonies over the last century, doesn’t mean the empirical spirit is wrong – or should be repudiated.

As a Yank I believe I have an obligation to uphold truth and justice everywhere, no matter how corny that sounds.  Do we do it well?  No.  Are we always successful?  No.  Never the less, we still need to endeavor to right wrongs and protect the weak.  I believe that is a trait we should share with ourBritish Islescousins, and am saddened that we often don’t.

Attitudes to Alcohol

 

Going down the drain. Alcohol disposal in the Prohibition era.

The British have a problem with alcohol – they can’t get enough of it. It’s an old joke that’s getting less and less funny as it becomes more obviously true. There is now such a problem with ‘binge’ drinking that the Government is proposing a minimum price on alcohol and the banning of multi-buy discounts. This new ‘Alcohol Strategy’ aims to address “irresponsible drinking – which costs the UK £21 billion a year.”

The British Home Secretary hopes the strategy will “help reverse a culture that led to almost one million alcohol-related violent crimes and 1.2 million alcohol-related hospital admissions last year alone.” (Source www.number10.gov.uk)

While the Brits are infamous, and in some countries reviled, for their heavy drinking, this is not just a ‘British Disease’, nor in fact is it anything new, prohibition in the USA, which began in 1919, was a reaction to perceived crime and immorality arising from alcohol abuse; although there are other well documented socio-political reasons for the growth of the Abolition Movement.

Prohibition was repealed in the USA in 1933, and for me it was no more than an interesting footnote in American history; so to say I was surprised to discover that some counties in the USA still prohibit the sale of alcohol is an understatement. I knew that the US Navy was ‘dry’ – my Grandfather, a Commander in the Royal Navy who served in the Second World War, told me that ship-visiting between the Navies tended to be a one sided affair, with much of the traffic coming from American vessels to British ones (this is the man who advised me to always buy pale coloured whisky – so no one could ever tell how strong the whisky/water mix was) – but had thought that was an anachronism, albeit a reasonably sensible one. Yet there are hundreds of ‘dry’ counties in US States where alcohol sales are prohibited and many more where they are severely limited (known as ‘moist’ counties).

Dry (red), Moist (yellow) and Wet (blue) counties in the US. Source Wikicommons

For any Brit this seems fairly extraordinary, and certainly not something that could happen here, until I remembered a small seaside town of about 6000 people in Essex, near to where I grew up, and where my family spent many summer holidays – Frinton-on-Sea.

Frinton was always an extraordinary place by British standards, created as an up-market resort by the Victorians it was famed for its ‘ultra’ conservatism, numerous churches and quiet respectability; and on the surface it could be said to share many of the values of the ‘dry’ counties in the US, but what really made it stand out was its lack of that great British institution – the pub.

Just as there are ways to get drinks in ‘dry’ states, there were certainly ways to get a drink in Frinton; the hotels had bars as did the golf club. Winston Churchill, not known for his alcoholic moderation, was said to been a regular visitor to Frinton. But this extraordinary exception meant that instead of being just another slightly down-at-heel seaside town Frinton achieved national fame as the town with no pub.

But no longer. Frinton has succumbed, economic pressure won, and in 2000 the local Council amended the by-laws and allowed a single pub to open in the town – to be honest not much changed, it’s just that sort of place.

Like Frinton many dry counties in America are experiencing the same economic pressures as their residents push for a vote to relax the restrictions on alcohol sales. The feelings on either side of the debate remain strong – but the tide is very slowly moving against the dry and in favour of the ‘wet’.

For most Brits the thought of a holiday resort without a pub, or many, many pubs, off-licences, supermarkets etc., is the stuff of nightmares, and that’s probably the point. It’s also where any similarity between Frinton and a Dry County ends; Frinton did not want to ban alcohol it just wanted to exclude that ‘type’ of holiday maker, for them it was a ‘class’ thing. For the dry counties the choice to stay dry is a moral one, deeply conservative and from strongly religious backgrounds they see it as their duty to ‘save’ their community from the perils of alcohol. There are many here who want to see their communities saved from the perils of alcohol too, those whose town centres become no-go areas at night, the victims of crime, the over stretched police officers and hospitals, but the difference is none of them want it banned – not for a second. We do love a drink.

 

 

The Obamerons – looking good, achieving little?

The Obamerons. Source: Official White House Photo by Pete Souza

As President Obama lifted his glass of water and toasted the Queen and “Our Great Alliance” at last night’s State Dinner, he brought to a close the most recent act in the great British/American political love-in. One that has seen a rash of shared values, joint photo ops, alliance affirming speeches and a regrettable lurch into the uncomfortable and sometimes unfortunate use of first names.

Barack (or Bar-ACK as Cameron mangles it) and David, Michelle and Samantha formed an interesting and perhaps enviable group – the Obamerons if you like.  They are all attractive(ish), young(ish) and powerful (ish) but while the relationship between the US and the UK essentially remains the same this group puts a different reflection on it. The alliance or relationship ain’t broke so they were never going to try and fix it. What they were doing, and in a very twenty first century way, was milking it for all they could get at home, not unusual for a British Prime minister, but certainly unusual for a US President.

There are plenty of serious issues here and if anyone needs to take a lead on Syria and Iran it’s these two, no doubt the problems have been discussed in depth, but neither man is ready to move outside of a UN umbrella (Cameron can’t and Obama won’t) on these. So it’s the home grown issues that both men have really been aiming to get leverage on. Politically neither of them is as powerful as their predecessor (for the UK that’s Blair rather than the slightly embarrassing interlude that was Brown) and the last few days have shown us a flicker of desperation as they both angled to get as much out of this summit as possible. Think of the Basketball match in swing state Ohio that generated some, according to Dana Milbank in the Washington Post, “impossibly good press coverage for the President.” For Cameron, perhaps in return, he has had the opportunity to say that the US was content with the status quo in the Falkland Islands, a tiny issue in the US, but huge in the UK. The British Press are already reporting this as US “support” for Britain’s sovereignty against Argentina’s claims, although the Tory press is indignant that Cameron failed to meet up with any Republicans.

As last night’s speeches descended into talk of a ‘personal bond’ and ‘friendship’ it was clear that no hard agreements were going to be announced, to be honest they were never going to be, but the Obamerons, and entourage, will almost certainly view the week as a success. Here are the (political) highlights:

1) Cameron got Obama to support the ‘status quo’ in the Falkland Islands.

2) The two leaders agreed to ‘look’ at forcing down oil prices – serious domestic issues for both.

3) They have “reaffirmed” NATO’s agreement to, essentially, withdraw from Afghanistan 2014.

And that’s about it, until the next time, or until the Iran situation turns as nasty as we all expect it will. Let’s hope they gave that some very, very serious discussion.

A Very American Monarchist

'Beefeaters' at the 2011 Royal Wedding. Source: Flickr

While many Americans are fascinated by the British Monarchy – and freely acknowledge the glamour and prestige they give to and export from Britain – they remain glad the ‘Royals’ belong on the other side of the ‘Pond’. But clearly not all.

Theodore, a musician from North Carolina, is an unabashed monarchist and, I think it would be safe to say, holds strong opinions that come from the right wing of the political spectrum. Here’s Theodore from 2005:

I am an American with a strong affection for Britain, which is primarily focused on the monarchy.  Since childhood I have been fascinated by kings, queens, and castles, and have grown up to believe that monarchy is the best form of government and that the British constitution is superior to the American.

I am an unreconstructed Tory Loyalist, and display portraits of King George III and Queen Charlotte in my apartment, am proud to live in a city named after her, and I don’t celebrate July 4.  I would much rather have HM Queen Elizabeth II as my head of state than George W. Bush or any other recent American president.

In June 2002 I went to London for the Queen’s Golden Jubilee celebrations, and I consider this trip to have been one of the highlights of my life. One might wonder then why I have not moved to Britain.  Alas, apart from practical considerations I must say that my opinion of modern Britain and its people is quite mixed.  While most Britons apparently support the monarchy, there is far too much irreverence and even hostility from some quarters.  Whenever I meet a British person, I am uncomfortable around him or her until I confirm that he or she is not a republican; if I lived there I would go through this all the time.

Whatever the shortcomings of the Tories, I do not understand how the British electorate can continue to return the horrid government of Tony Blair, who has practically destroyed the British constitution by expelling the hereditary peers from the House of Lords, endangered his country’s sovereignty through his support for the evil European Union, tolerated republicanism in his cabinet and chipped away at the role of the Crown, enacted a ludicrous & tyrannical ban on fox-hunting, and dragged Britain into an unjust and unpopular war in Iraq.

I feel that the Tories since Thatcher have become too Americanized.  Conservatism cannot be reduced to free-market economics; tradition, hierarchy, and culture are far more important.  I think it is unfortunate that modern Britain has become so secular.  Christianity is an integral part of British heritage and it should not be belittled or forgotten.  I do not approve of the changes brought about in Britain by mass immigration, particularly Muslim immigration, or the regime of political correctness that stifles debate on this subject.  I would implore the British people to firmly reject multiculturalism & republicanism and unapologetically celebrate their glorious ancient Christian and monarchical heritage.  Trust me, republics aren’t that great.  Be thankful for what you have – and save it while there’s still time.

According to a Guardian/ICM poll in 2011 only 26 percent of British people want to get rid of the monarchy – rather more would rather Prince William inherited than Prince Charles, but that’s a different matter – so it seems unlikely that Theodore will see Britain become a republic in the near future.

A shared love of sports

Getting sacked! American College Football, Texas Tech vs US Navy. Source: Wikicommons

As Obama and Cameron sat down, with hot dogs in hand, press cameras snapping and flashing, to watch a basketball game, I thought noticed a look of slight puzzlement on Cameron’s face; if so then I have to say I shared it. Close-packed, fast-paced, incredibly noisy the game is, for a novice anyway, hard to follow and if I’m honest quite hard to like – perhaps you need to be born to it?

The sport certainly has millions of ardent fans across America and the College Basketball March Madness season has viewers glued to their TV sets, partisan and passionate, they mirror the UK’s fanatical football/soccer supporters.

Sport, unsurprisingly, found its way into the opinion stream from Americans commenting on Britain back in 2005. This one from John C in New Jersey had me laughing, enjoy:

As a big sports fan, I was fascinated at how fanatically everyone was reacting to the World Cup matches that occurred during my visit. I loved the widespread passion, but found the actual games a bit boring. (Too little scoring, not enough real action)

While enjoying these games in various pubs, I heard numerous negative comments about American (NFL) Football, and finally figured out the problem.  It’s not just the name conflicting with their sport.  The Brits just don’t get it. Most English sports fans I talked with didn’t really understand just how huge, strong, fast, and well trained these remarkable athletes are. Instead, they just see what they want to see and wrongly assume its nothing more than a bunch of fat guys banging heads.

I suggest that most English sport fans sadly underestimate our boys, and suggest a friendly Rugby match to demonstrate their true abilities.

I propose that the English get first pick of 13 of the best players from all around the world, and then I get to pick 13 guys from the NFL (all with the nickname ‘Bubba’).  We’ll only play a half hour and see what happens. Now I know some will think the ‘big fat Americans’ can’t run for a full hour, and that’s why I want the game only 30 minutes long, but in reality it’s probably all we’ll really need.

While Rugby players are truly fast and in great shape, once 200 pound men are hit a few times by 300+ pound NFL lineman, they won’t be enough players to field the second half.  Trust me, these guys are certified MONSTERS determined to physically dominate anyone who challenges them!

It would be an absolutely fascinating game, and as a former school rugby player and keen follower of the Scottish team (don’t laugh) I can only say John that you are completely and utterly wrong…. probably.